Unto the Breach

Lab work is fairly unique in that it's one of the few professions that still operate through what is essentially an apprentice system. Sure, you can find instructions on how to perform certain experiments in papers or online, but to really nail down all the various eccentricities endemic to each procedure, you have to learn by doing, and the best way to do that is with someone who already knows how to successfully accomplish said procedure.

Case in point: I've recently been learning a technique called Chromatin Immunoprecipitation, or ChIP for short. This experiment involves sonicating, or fragmenting, DNA into a bunch of tiny pieces in order to find out whether or not certain proteins are attached to the DNA. These proteins can influence what genes are turned on or off, so naturally they'd be pretty interesting to a cancer geneticist such as myself.

Anyway, another graduate student with whom I've been working closely since I joined the lab has been showing me the ropes, but we've only been through the sonication step, and she's only showed me how to do that once. Then, recently, with sonication on the agenda, she left early to prepare for a trip out of town, leaving me with newly harvested samples just itching to degrade into unusable nucleotides if not acted upon quickly enough. Of course, she provided me with step-by-step instructions, but as we all know, most experiences can't be boiled down to flow charts, and lab work is no exception. I felt a little bit like a 15-year-old who just got his temporary permit and who has some experience driving around the local church parking lot but then suddenly is burdened with the task of driving his mom to the hospital. Nevertheless, onward I plunged, wide-eyed, gripping my pipette with white knuckles. I think I made it through without getting too bruised, but we'll find out for sure soon enough...when she teaches me how to perform the next step.

Oops, It Happened Again

I've had some great science teachers over the years, which is no doubt part of the reason why I eventually decided to pursue science as a career. But something Mr. Allan taught us in 9th grade stuck with me. He was one of those teachers who peppered his lectures with anecdotes, which usually meant he told the same few over and over again, and one of those popped into my head over the weekend. He liked to talk about Marilyn Monroe, about how beautiful she was and how much fame and wealth she had amassed despite her age. However, he emphasized that from a purely biological perspective, she was a complete failure because she never managed to bear children; she never passed on her genetic material. Biologically, the only purpose in life is to reproduce.

Studying biology all these years, I haven't encountered any concept truer than this. Every biological function has been thoroughly groomed through natural selection toward the achievement of one goal: survive long enough to reproduce. We see this over and over in nature: The salmon and turtles who travel thousands of miles just to deposit their eggs, the 17-year-cicadas who emerge just long enough to ravage our landscaping, get it on, and then drop dead.

We humans have tried to find greater meaning our lives than mere reproduction, but even now in the 21st century the only things we leave behind that survive for any significant length of time are our genes. The realization of this fact should then fill you with trepidation given the developments over this past weekend: the arrival of another Spears baby.

Yes, on Friday, Jamie Lynn Spears welcomed into the world another plastic bottle in the gene pool of humanity and named her Maddie. Cute name, but I worry about just how successful this family is becoming, biologically speaking. Already we have Maddie's two cousins, and while I'm sure they're fine children, I can't help but worry what future contributions to society may arise from the spawn of those who have already brought us Zoey 101, Crossroads, and Britney & Kevin: Chaotic.

In many ways, Britney is a modern day Marilyn. The fame, the fortune, the blonde hair. But through her children she accomplished something Marilyn never did. The irony is that, since then, Britney has been steadily losing all that she and Marilyn had in common. The head shaving, the crotch shots, the occasional trips to rehab. Why? Maybe Britney folded under the stress of adolescent fame. Maybe her actions are of her own free will. Or maybe she's genetically predisposed to making dumb decisions. Let's just hope that there won't be any repeat performances.

I Wear the Same Shoes as a Middle-Aged Chinese Woman

I consider myself a moderately fashionable person. I try to look nice for work. But in the lab, it's hard, given the risk of spilling noxious chemicals on oneself and the occasional trips to the mouse room. Mouse dander can be a bit unbecoming of a gentleman. So there are some elements of the wardrobe whose style is sacrificed for the sake of functionality. Case in point: my sneakers I wear to lab everyday. Reebok Classic Nylons. Tan/white color. Most comfortable shoes I've ever worn.

Comfort is a major consideration because biologists are on their feet for a sizable chunk of each day, what with running down the hall to the tissue culture room, over to the next building to talk with your collaborator, or down to the vending machine to score some sweet, sweet pop-tarts for your late afternoon fix. Good traction also comes in handy for those times when the freezer breaks and melts all over the floor in the hallway and you're scrambling to transfer its contents early on a Saturday morning when no one else is around. Both elements the Reebok Classic Nylon has in spades.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I was riding up in the elevator one morning and looked down to discover that a middle aged, slightly disagreeable Chinese woman shared my sensible taste in footwear. Not that Chinese women aren't fashionable. A Chinese girl in my lab is quite the trendsetter actually. It's just that, as a 24-year-old male, I find myself falling into a social class whose characteristic sartorial spectrum usually doesn't overlap with women who grew up four or five decades ago in a different hemisphere. I'll admit that the white/tan combination isn't the most common in footwear haute couture, but that was all they had at the Reebok Outlet in Jeffersonville, Ohio, and my coupon was about to expire. I had a blue and white pair before these. Those were way cooler. They're really comfortable. Shut up.

Delicious Data

It's said that if you can read, you can cook. I like to say that if you can cook, you can be a molecular biologist. There's really a lot of similarity between the two: add a certain amount of one ingredient plus a certain amount of another, incubate at a certain temperature for a certain amount of time and boom, you're done. Except, in the lab, we deal in microliters rather than tablespoons, and the results tend to be more carcinogenic than delicious. So it's advisable not to eat your lab results, although they can be just as satisfying as a home cooked meal. Easier on the waistline too.

Of course, the problem with this characterization is that, through the transitive property, if you can read, you can be a molecular biologist. Now I feel bad about myself.

It's Funny Cause It's True

I guess this cartoon is from 1995, but I just saw it reprinted in a recent issue of Genome Technology. Kudos to Dr. Alex Dent; he really hit the nail on the head with this one. I won't say what category my PI falls into.

Sci-lebrities: Lance Armstrong

I thought I'd break my month-long silence by talking about LIVESTRONG Day. Lance and Co. designated May 13 as a national day of promotion for their organization, and one of the stops on his cross country tour was good ol' Cbus. Personally, I'm a huge Lance fan and naturally showed up about an hour early to get a good place on the lawn. As you can tell by the pictures I snapped, it paid off. His movie star sunglasses shone so brightly it made me wish I had a pair of my own. Say what you will about his personal life or those pesky doping allegations; he's out there everyday promoting his grassroots movement to make cancer research a political and social priority, and he's doing a damn good job. This July he's coming back to OSU for the Livestrong Summit, as are hundreds of activists and power players in order to discuss how to take action regarding the lack of funding and general spurning of the scientific community that society has experienced during the last eight years. McCain has RSVPed, and invitations are out to Obama and Clinton. Here's to hoping the next president makes change a priority. More pics below:

The Age of Innocence

Something I heard one of the undergrads say today piqued my interest: "DUDE! I forgot to send you that song!" Now, normally I would ignore their juvenile repartee, but this actually got me thinking: Ten years ago, you'd never hear someone say that, and if you did, chances are eavesdroppers would be thoroughly confused. These were the days before broadband, before iPods, when the entire file-sharing movement was just a glimmer in Shawn Fanning's eye. Now look where we are. Sending files over the web is so easy an undergrad can do it. As long as he remembers.


Only mildly insightful, I know. But after sitting at the computer staring at tumor-filled lungs all day, my mind becomes desperate for distraction.

Deep Red Something

The international community is abuzz following developments out of Moscow: The Kremlin security service has ordered 3,200 white, female mice no heaver than 18 grams each. Naturally, everyone involved is tight-lipped on the subject. An official brushes off questions, saying simply, "There are more important things to think about."

What on Earth would the Kremlin--the Kremlin security department, no less--want with all those rodents? The leading theorists seem to think some furry fast food is on the menu for the Kremlin's resident falcons. Poppycock, I say! To scientists, the answer is obvious. The security guards are clearly carrying out genetic research during their coffee breaks.

The fundamentals for a good genetic experiment are all here: large sample size, identical coat color suggesting inbred mice with similar genetic backgrounds, and all females, logically to study the effects of an oppressive communist regime on breast tumorigenesis.

The question remains however: where are these mice coming from? Who is supplying the Russian capitol with the tools for their nefarious schemes?

I've got my eye on you, Jackson Lab.

A Scientist's Life For Me

For all the lay people out there, I thought I'd take some time and describe the life of a mol-bio grad student in a little more detail.

The first year usually consists of taking a few classes while simultaneously doing rotations in a few research labs to see which is a good fit. Think speed dating, but the interviews last ten weeks and you're frustrated the whole time because your experiments don't work. Okay, maybe they're more similar than I thought. But I digress. Students usually approach rotations with much trepidation, because the lab we choose will be our second home for the next five years, on average. I refer to it as a "second home" because students usually keep 60-80 hour work weeks, give or take a few, visiting the lab most every day for varying amounts of time. In return, tuition is waived and they're given a stipend of roughly $20K per year, depending on institution. I try not to think too much about what that would work out to as an hourly wage.

Speaking of earning sweet moolah, students may also compete for fellowships, both within their institution and from external sources. This not only looks good on resumes, but sometimes leads to some extra cash in your pocket. Outside funding means you're off the payroll of your P.I. (Primary Investigator, aka Professor, aka Boss), which means he/she might throw you a few thousand more per year on top of your fellowship bucks. It's win-win all around.

At the beginning of the second year, students will pick a lab in which to stay and work on a long-term project that will eventually become their thesis. Students also usually finish their course requirements during their second year. Once the classes are done, a student does research full-time. Candidacy, or "quals" as it's sometimes called, occurs during the third year, after which students are considered full-fledged "Ph.D. Candidates," and the remaining time is spent working towards their dissertation.

Again, from start to finish, the whole process takes five years, give or take a few. I know people who've flown through in four years, and others who have taken as long as seven. There's really not an official point at which a master's degree is awarded. At least in America, the programs are designed around doctorates, but if a student decides to leave the program between candidacy and graduation, they can usually wrangle an M.S. for time served. Typically though, a student will spend the entire five or so years and graduate with their doctorate.


I'm getting toward the end of my second year now. I joined my lab in June '07 and jumped into an existing project investigating breast tumor metastasis. That's all I can really say in such a public forum without being disappeared in the night. Hopefully there'll be a paper out within the next few months, and then the game will really be afoot.

In Like a Lion

Here's the forecast for Columbus for today and tomorrow:

Snow Will Continue To Overspread The Region Late This Morning...And May Mix With Rain Or Freezing Rain This Afternoon. Two To Four Inches Of Snow And Trace Accumulations Of Ice Are Possible By This Evening. Precipitation Will Change Back To All Snow Late This Evening...And Last Through Saturday Afternoon. Four To Five Inches Of Snow Is Expected Tonight...With An Additional Five To Six Inches Falling Saturday Morning. Snow Will Taper Off And End Saturday Afternoon. In Addition...North Winds At 15 To 25 Mph With Higher Gusts Will Cause Significant Blowing And Drifting...And Limit Visibilities To Near Zero At Times. By Late Saturday Afternoon... A Foot Or More Of Snow Is Expected With Drifts Up To Two Feet.

Seasonal Affective Disorder? Seems like sound reasoning to me. Luckily, the closest grad students usually come to braving the elements is checking the doppler on weather.com. Let's hope the heater doesn't break down.

Motivation

Sometimes, no matter what your profession, it's easy to lose sight of your goals as you become lost in the day-to-day frustrations of building your career. This is as true in science as it is in any other field. When I tell people I do cancer research, I'm always met with genuine awe and admiration. Initially my ego swells, but I try to be quick and deflate my pride by focusing on the fact that daily, there's really not much glamour in being a scientist. The hours are long, the pace is plodding, and data remains elusive. Often, deft as we may be at winning people's admiration, one's motivation suffers as a result.

But then someone like Dr. Randy Pausch comes along and reminds you why you got into science in the first place. Dr. Pausch is a Carnegie-Mellon professor, husband, and father to three. He will also most certainly die within the next few months as a result of his battle with metastatic pancreatic cancer, one of the most difficult-to-treat and therefore deadliest cancers out there. Last year, he took part in CMU's "Last Lecture Series," in which professors are invited to speak as if they only could make one final lecture. Unfortunately, the premise for Dr. Pausch is far from hypothetical. Shortly thereafter he performed a shortened version for Oprah on her show:



There is so much one can say about Dr. Pausch's talk, but few words could do justice to a man who shows such courage and humility in the face of death. What he has to say is not only motivating to those in the biomedical research fields, but to all who have dreams, who have families, who succeed, who struggle. He is a man who has realized what life should be about, however abbreviated it may become. He reminds those in the medical field why they got into the business in the first place, and he reminds everyone else that things really aren't so bad. Dr. Pausch's full "Last Lecture" from Carnegie-Mellon is posted below.

The Cold Open

Introductions are in order. Now, I know blogging on the edifying topic of being a Ph.D. student in molecular biology won't exactly give me priority status on the terrorist watch list, but the nature of our work necessitates that I remain at least semi-anonymous. Can't have any rivals scooping my work. Maybe it's also a subconscious desire to maintain a secret identity, a consequence of my love for superheroes and (not so) latent desire to become one. But for now, call me Dave. As you can tell from the teaser I dropped a few sentences ago, I'm currently working toward my Doctor of Philosophy in Molecular Biology, matriculated in The Ohio State University. Accordingly, stay tuned for observations and commentary regarding the sundry dramatic nuggets of the scientific life, along with the occasional post on art, movies, music, and life in general. Because I have other passions besides toiling in the mouse room, you know. What you won't find are posts about my personal life, celebrity gossip, or graphic sexual dialogue. Ok, no promises on those last two. Names will be changed to protect the innocent.

Maybe I'm putting too many limitations on myself, but really it's surprising that I'm writing this at all. I used to regard blogging with a certain level of disdain, deeming it the domain of vapid elitists who are vain enough to think the world would benefit from a public journaling of their mundane lives. It was quite the paradigm shift, then, for me to realize I am an elitist, and the world would benefit from my chronicled musings. So here it is, my own personal soapbox. I hereby christen this space The Science and the Fury, a blog for all seasons.

Aw, who am I kidding? I don't know anything about weather changes. I work in the lab.